Lord, please put Your peace in my heart. I'm worried and anxious. My mind races and obsesses. I can't help thinking about my problems. And the more I think about them, the more depressed I become. I feel like I'm sinking down in quicksand and can't get out. Calm me, Lord. Slow me down, put Your peace in my heart.
No matter what problems I have, Lord, You are bigger, You are more powerful than it is. So I bring my problem to you, Lord. I know what I want, I know my will. I do not know Yours. I do not know how You will use this problem for my salvation. I do not know what good You will work out of this evil. But I trust You, Lord, I trust Your goodness and Your wisdom. I place myself in Your hands, please fill my heart with peace. Amen.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Look at what it's done for me
This weekend was Easter. I was lucky to spend the day with my family, friends, and love. On our drive up to Chico on Sunday morning, Will and I were listening to an old Chris Cagle CD and it made me cry...
There was this song he played that I had never heard before. It talked about a guy breaking up with a girl and her being so sad. Then in the song he sees her again and she's had moved on and is happy.
It's titled "Look at what I've done"... and I can't help but think, "Look at what it's done for me..." Read the lyrics, or find the song online... and you'll know what I mean.
Life has an amazing way of taking things away from you and making you feel lost... but then helping you find your true path. I've found mine. I've found someone who loves me more than anything. I've found a life that I've always dreamed of and I'm so darn happy. Some people are never lucky enough to be this happy... and here I am... happy, loved and elated with life. I can't imagine being in a better place ever... and life is just starting for us. I love you, Will.
Chris Cagle
"Look at what I've done"
I saw it in her eyes
When I was sayin' goodbye
That girl, she ain't gonna be alright'
Cause I could tell
She'd be goin' through a livin' hell
And I wouldn't be there by her side
And Lord I felt so bad as I sat and watched her cry
Thinkin' I was movin' on and she was barely gettin' by
Look at what I've done to her
Look at how I made her feel
I gave back her heart, the broken part
She got the raw end of the deal
And look at what it's done to me
You gotta know it tears me up
I gave it everything I had, and
Lord, it just wasn't enough
Hurtin' her like this seems so wrong
Yeah, look at what I've done to her
Now she's alone
I saw her out last night
And she was havin' a good time
That girl, it looks like she's doin' fine
But then I saw a man
Walk up and take her by the hand
And I, oh God I almost died
And then it hit me, she didn't really need me
I just sat there for a while, until I finally smiled
Look at what I've done to her
Look at how I made her feel
She's found somebody new
And look who took the time to heal
And look at what it's done to me
You gotta know it tears me up
To have walked away from the love we made
And just leave it in a cloud of dust
And now it's got me thinkin' maybe I was wrong
After all the things I've done to her
Now she's strong
I walked up and said hello
She said, "It's good to see ya
But hey, I gotta go"
Look at what I've done to her
Look at how I made her feel
She's standin' tall, she's got it all
Got the world at her heels
And look at what it's done to me
Look at how it makes me hurt
If I could go back nowI swear somehow
I'd find a way to make it work
Ain't life funny
Now I'm the one alone
Look at what I've done to me
She's gone
There was this song he played that I had never heard before. It talked about a guy breaking up with a girl and her being so sad. Then in the song he sees her again and she's had moved on and is happy.
It's titled "Look at what I've done"... and I can't help but think, "Look at what it's done for me..." Read the lyrics, or find the song online... and you'll know what I mean.
Life has an amazing way of taking things away from you and making you feel lost... but then helping you find your true path. I've found mine. I've found someone who loves me more than anything. I've found a life that I've always dreamed of and I'm so darn happy. Some people are never lucky enough to be this happy... and here I am... happy, loved and elated with life. I can't imagine being in a better place ever... and life is just starting for us. I love you, Will.
Chris Cagle
"Look at what I've done"
I saw it in her eyes
When I was sayin' goodbye
That girl, she ain't gonna be alright'
Cause I could tell
She'd be goin' through a livin' hell
And I wouldn't be there by her side
And Lord I felt so bad as I sat and watched her cry
Thinkin' I was movin' on and she was barely gettin' by
Look at what I've done to her
Look at how I made her feel
I gave back her heart, the broken part
She got the raw end of the deal
And look at what it's done to me
You gotta know it tears me up
I gave it everything I had, and
Lord, it just wasn't enough
Hurtin' her like this seems so wrong
Yeah, look at what I've done to her
Now she's alone
I saw her out last night
And she was havin' a good time
That girl, it looks like she's doin' fine
But then I saw a man
Walk up and take her by the hand
And I, oh God I almost died
And then it hit me, she didn't really need me
I just sat there for a while, until I finally smiled
Look at what I've done to her
Look at how I made her feel
She's found somebody new
And look who took the time to heal
And look at what it's done to me
You gotta know it tears me up
To have walked away from the love we made
And just leave it in a cloud of dust
And now it's got me thinkin' maybe I was wrong
After all the things I've done to her
Now she's strong
I walked up and said hello
She said, "It's good to see ya
But hey, I gotta go"
Look at what I've done to her
Look at how I made her feel
She's standin' tall, she's got it all
Got the world at her heels
And look at what it's done to me
Look at how it makes me hurt
If I could go back nowI swear somehow
I'd find a way to make it work
Ain't life funny
Now I'm the one alone
Look at what I've done to me
She's gone
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Pics from the 10.6 miler
You can check out my pics from the 10.6 miler at www.marathonfoto.com. Select the Big Sur Marathon 2008, put in my last name (Langerwerf, for those of you who can't spell it) and my bib number (6993).
Enjoy! :)
Enjoy! :)
Monday, April 28, 2008
a sense of accomplishment
They say that the "runner's high" is one of the best feelings in the world. That sense of accomplishment, love, success, pride and happiness all rolled up into one little ball of excitement when you finish a race... it's euphoric.
Upon crossing the finish line of the Big Sur 10.6 Miler this weekend... I finally felt this feeling for the first time. It's an overwhelming experience that takes away all the pain you may have felt during the race and makes all of the training worth it. Sure, there were other great moments: the start of the race, the many people along the route cheering you on, the runners you meet along the way, reaching the mile mark telling you there were only 2.2 miles left, seeing that very last hill ahead of you and knowing that you just had to get over it and you would see the finish, the enormous crowd screaming for you as you crossed the last bridge, and finally the wonderful volunteers standing at the finish congratulating you before you had even crossed the line.
While those feelings are all amazing, the minute I crossed the finish line, arms in the air, screaming "I DID IT!" and knowing that I had completed something I had never even thought I would be able to do was the BEST feeling in the world. And I was able to finish in a 12:35 per mile pace at 2:13:17. Yay me!
In the past year, I have learned what true accomplishment means. I've learned that it takes hard work and a will to succeed to achieve the things you want in life. I know that if I set my mind to something I CAN and WILL achieve it. I proved that yesterday. I proved that I could run that far and push my body that hard and smile as I crossed the finish line, knowing that I had done this by myself, and for myself.
I'm proud. I'm elated. I'm still feeling that runner's high and I can't seem to wipe the cheezy grin from my face.
Here's to the next race (May 18 - Bay to Breakers in SF) and to the half-marathon I have coming up (August 31 - Disneyland). I'm on my way to the marathon goal I've set.
I'm on my way and I won't stop until I get there...
Upon crossing the finish line of the Big Sur 10.6 Miler this weekend... I finally felt this feeling for the first time. It's an overwhelming experience that takes away all the pain you may have felt during the race and makes all of the training worth it. Sure, there were other great moments: the start of the race, the many people along the route cheering you on, the runners you meet along the way, reaching the mile mark telling you there were only 2.2 miles left, seeing that very last hill ahead of you and knowing that you just had to get over it and you would see the finish, the enormous crowd screaming for you as you crossed the last bridge, and finally the wonderful volunteers standing at the finish congratulating you before you had even crossed the line.
While those feelings are all amazing, the minute I crossed the finish line, arms in the air, screaming "I DID IT!" and knowing that I had completed something I had never even thought I would be able to do was the BEST feeling in the world. And I was able to finish in a 12:35 per mile pace at 2:13:17. Yay me!
In the past year, I have learned what true accomplishment means. I've learned that it takes hard work and a will to succeed to achieve the things you want in life. I know that if I set my mind to something I CAN and WILL achieve it. I proved that yesterday. I proved that I could run that far and push my body that hard and smile as I crossed the finish line, knowing that I had done this by myself, and for myself.
I'm proud. I'm elated. I'm still feeling that runner's high and I can't seem to wipe the cheezy grin from my face.
Here's to the next race (May 18 - Bay to Breakers in SF) and to the half-marathon I have coming up (August 31 - Disneyland). I'm on my way to the marathon goal I've set.
I'm on my way and I won't stop until I get there...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
having loved then lost...
When I woke up this morning I had a feeling this wouldn't be a typical day... and I was right.
There are some things you can't change in your life, and some things you can. Pleasing everyone is one of those things. Sometimes you just can't make everyone happy, no matter how much you wish you could.
You also can't change yourself for someone and you can't expect someone to change for you. You can only hope they would want to do right by you and make you happy with the things they do.
I don't have all the answers. I'm learning more and more about "me" everyday. One thing I do know is that I have self respect and I know when to say no and when I will not give in. I know the situations that make me uncomfortable and I also know when someone is taking advantage of me. I guess realizing that you are strong is the first hurdle of the battle.
Regardless of how much I want something in my life, if it's not the right time, it's just not the right time. One of my best friends told me, in not so few words, that I have to put myself out there to get the reward in the end. That I have to trust that the next thing will be bigger and better than the last. She told me that I'm worth it and that when I feel that someone has put me down I can stand up with my head held high and know that I didn't do anything wrong in the situation and that I am a better person for having learned from them. There is nothing wrong with loving with your whole heart and losing in the end.
The saying goes, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
The saying is true. I guess I'm just a bit tired of losing.
Oh well... off to the next adventure... want to come? :)
There are some things you can't change in your life, and some things you can. Pleasing everyone is one of those things. Sometimes you just can't make everyone happy, no matter how much you wish you could.
You also can't change yourself for someone and you can't expect someone to change for you. You can only hope they would want to do right by you and make you happy with the things they do.
I don't have all the answers. I'm learning more and more about "me" everyday. One thing I do know is that I have self respect and I know when to say no and when I will not give in. I know the situations that make me uncomfortable and I also know when someone is taking advantage of me. I guess realizing that you are strong is the first hurdle of the battle.
Regardless of how much I want something in my life, if it's not the right time, it's just not the right time. One of my best friends told me, in not so few words, that I have to put myself out there to get the reward in the end. That I have to trust that the next thing will be bigger and better than the last. She told me that I'm worth it and that when I feel that someone has put me down I can stand up with my head held high and know that I didn't do anything wrong in the situation and that I am a better person for having learned from them. There is nothing wrong with loving with your whole heart and losing in the end.
The saying goes, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
The saying is true. I guess I'm just a bit tired of losing.
Oh well... off to the next adventure... want to come? :)
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Who I am...
I have a lot to learn about myself and life.
I have a lot to learn about making myself happy and not giving a crap what other people think of me.
I have a lot to learn about being honest with my friends and not worrying about what they will think because if they are a true friend they are going to be happy for me regardless of the decision I make.
I have a lot to learn about life... and I'm learning more and more every day. I hope everyone can accept that and be happy for me because I'm really, really happy with my life and the decisions I've made of late.
The confusion is there because I'm worried about what you all think... but it's slowly subsiding because I know regardless of what happens, my true friends will have my back.
I love my true friends. :)
I have a lot to learn about making myself happy and not giving a crap what other people think of me.
I have a lot to learn about being honest with my friends and not worrying about what they will think because if they are a true friend they are going to be happy for me regardless of the decision I make.
I have a lot to learn about life... and I'm learning more and more every day. I hope everyone can accept that and be happy for me because I'm really, really happy with my life and the decisions I've made of late.
The confusion is there because I'm worried about what you all think... but it's slowly subsiding because I know regardless of what happens, my true friends will have my back.
I love my true friends. :)
Friday, November 9, 2007
Progress
Each journey begins with a single step. Well that is very true and for my friend Cathy, it's a journey that's taking great shape.
As many of you know, Cathy was in an accident back in July and spent several weeks in a coma before coming out and working her way back into life's everyday activities.
Last night I had dinner with Cathy, her parents and my friend Kira and saw even more improvement than I had seen in past visits. Cathy is speaking much more and making jokes with everyone. Her sentences are longer, she's using more vocabulary and is making huge steps everyday. Her walking and motor skills are much more fluid now and you can see the determination in her face when she is doing something. She has always been very aware of her surroundings and shows that even more now.
She did several things last night that made me smile. The first being that when I arrived at the house she told me she would turn off the TV so we could "just hang out"... that brought a smile to my face. :) Cathy set the table for all of us, and even served us dessert (yummy cupcakes from Kira) after we were done. At one point we were talking about something Kira did and Cathy looked at her and said "I still love you" with the cutest smile on her face.
Throughout Cathy's rehabilitation process we have always seen her personality still shining through, even in the time when she was unable to say many words. And last night I was so proud to see that even more. Cathy is an amazing, wonderful, intelligent, vibrant person and blesses my life by just being a friend in it. I love going to visit her and seeing her improve each time I'm there.
I thank God for helping to bring her back to us and help her improve everyday. I pray for her continued healing and rehabilitation and know that regardless of how long this road is, the Cathy personality I've always known is still there and still strong.
I love you all. xoxo
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